Bikinis: wars have been waged, hearts have been broken, and dreams have been smashed over the epic struggle to be skinny enough to show up to pool parties in what is essentially your bra and panties.
Okay, we’re exaggerating… but it’s true that the bikini struggle is real.
Today we’re cutting you some slack and showing you some killer swimsuits that you can feel awesome in while still leaving a little to the imagination.
Each year, when winter finally decides it’s done punishing everyone and spring comes out to play, a few colors or color combinations reign supreme. Fashion forward girls all over the world wear them all day and all night until they’re no fun anymore, and then it’s suddenly fall and people care about boots again.
But last year something odd happened. Ombre reigned supreme — and any color or color combination worked just fine.
What’s even more weird (and awesome) is that ombre is still in, and poised to take the spring and summer seasons by storm again.
Since ombre is still super fun and super in, here’s an homage to ombre – prepare to drool.
Love it or hate it (or feel no particular way about it), Valentine’s day is THIS FRIDAY.
Here is your all inclusive guide to having fun on Valentine’s day, whether you’re single or you’ve been married for 50 years (or anything in between).
1) Dress the part: DO NOT refuse to get dressed today because you feel like wallowing in misery. ALSO DO NOT dress in matching outfits with anybody unless you are a five year old and the person you are matching with is your twin. Dress in normal clothing please. For example:
Speaking as someone who’s considered spending nearly $1,000 on a full Stormtrooper costume multiple times, I’m very interested in a new crowdfunding project designed to build and mass produce a complete Iron Man suit with electronic features like an automatic sliding faceplate. The Iron Man Mark III project from Iron Man Factory, which must violate at least 80 licensing agreements, also just looks so damn cool that I’m going to hope beyond hope it somehow gets made.
The prototype in the video is fully 3D-printed, and also features a number of light-up aesthetic features, powered by AAA batteries. It’s lightweight, weighing in at only 3kg (6.6 lbs) and features metal joints with a carbon fiber/polymer body. Anyone under 5’6″ or much over 6’1″ need not apply, according to the specifications, which means even if I want it so badly my entire body burns I’d be taking a risk on not…
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Carpool with your childhood best friend. The only one you still talk to on a bi-monthly basis. Go into the dive bar/bowling alley that hasn’t seen this much traffic since last Christmas. The annual bar pilgrimage of 20-somethings, trying to escape their childhood home. The return of the prodigal millennials.
Get to the bar, and immediately see everyone you grew up with. Be as self-conscious now as you were at the 8th grade graduation dance. The same insecurities, the same sheepish mannerisms. Realize your outfit is way too city for a place that hosts a Wednesday bowling league. Contemplate leaving, but realize it would be much worse if you did. Order a Whiskey-Ginger. Wonder if you would look cooler if you could drink whiskey straight.
See your grade school arch-nemesis. The one that took your journal out of your backpack in middle school and read it out loud during morning…
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